Friday, February 04, 2005

A Word On Our Commentators

We have had many inquiries of late concerning our commentators: Who are they? Where do they live? What do they look like? What are their backgrounds? What are their habits and predispositions? True, almost all of these inquiries came from law enforcement authorities. But, our other gentle visitors should not hastily conclude that these commentators are denizens of some seedy and seamy virtual underworld. Far from that.

As we have done with our other Contributors, we wish to dispel some myths surrounding this noble group of note.

  • Your commentators are all bought and paid for. Read our lips: our commentators have never been remunerated in any fashion for their comments on these pages. We have never given anything of value in exchange for a kind-hearted note (other than whatever trifling, incorporeal, and even immeasurable value these pages offer). In fact, they have pleaded with us that they be permitted to pay us for the privilege of commenting. But, we would have none of that: we may be poor -- in fact, so desperately poor that we can barely afford the private barista or the mobile stylist for our Pomeranians -- but, we are too proud to accept this charity.
  • Your commentators seems so distant and remote. A classically unfair charge. The very nature of the medium suggests that the commentary will be widespread and remotely offered. To be sure, they may concentrated among the American East Coast establishment; but, as you can see, we are graced by Heartlanders, Flatlanders, Panhandlers, and Ranchers -- not to mention our correspondents in Sao Paolo, Lagos, and Borneo. We have flung open our binary doors to the world -- near and far -- and, we could, thus, hardly complain about the character of wanderers and strangers who drift in to drink our coffee and admire our award-winning dogs.

But, do not take our word on it: see below, anon, for commentary on this latest outrage.


Blogger Gone Away said...

The staff at Gone Away have asked me to inform you, sirs, that they are not pleased with your reference to their addenda in this article. They feel that this is unduly personal and that, unless you desist in such references to their anatomy, they will be forced to have their appendices extracted for the sole purpose of waving them angrily at you as you pass by in your Rolls Royce. Thank you for your co-operation in this matter (I really can't afford to have the entire staff off in hospital having sundry anatomical bits removed).

2/04/2005 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

As my faithful and hard-working detail-man Garcia is fond of saying (albeit he says little, being hard-pressed for many of our novel English words), "Wash it, man! Joss wash it."

2/04/2005 02:12:00 PM  
Blogger Remainderman said...

Gone Away --

The time has past, I think, when anyone should feel embarrassed or ashamed about such things.

I have seen many fine addenda, and many that are threadbare and timeworn. Some that are compact & well-briefed, and others that veritably sag with their own weight or seem to have no end.

At bottom, I believe one can improve the tone and, shall we say, presentation of his or her addenda with just a little effort.

2/04/2005 02:26:00 PM  
Blogger Ned said...

Forget the Rolls, Harry's picking us up in the MG. Wear a cap.

2/04/2005 02:37:00 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

Dontcha just love typos?

2/04/2005 02:54:00 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

I used to date a typo.

2/04/2005 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

Very broad-minded, that Way...

2/04/2005 04:46:00 PM  
Blogger Hannah said...

Most interesting and illuminating.

2/04/2005 09:03:00 PM  
Blogger Remainderman said...

Hannah --

These are all dog people... and it shows.

2/04/2005 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

I had not wished to do this but the last comment has shown me that i must. If readers truly wish to begin to understand the meaning of dogs, then I suggest that they begin by reading this.

If they were then to continue by having a look at this, which is a continuation of the above.

No full understanding can be gleaned by these but it is in the nature of a brief introduction. From there, who knows what revelation might be born?

2/04/2005 10:38:00 PM  
Blogger Hannah said...

I must confess to being an owl person, with a particular slant towards chameleon people-- particularly with mustard on wheat toast.

2/05/2005 08:12:00 AM  

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