Friday, December 10, 2004

Traffic Report, Friday, December 09, 2004

Well, well. We are truly pleased. From 1 visitor on December 6th to 70 visitors by December 9th. This increase goes far beyond any geometric progression known to mathematicians -- 70 fold -- it is, in a word, biblical. Unfortunately, the bible verse it brings to mind involves Jezebel and Beelzebub. That's right: the numbers are fudged. Big time.

We've pieced things together, and here -- as best as we can determine -- is how it went.

7:05 a.m. Home. Change setting on site meter, such that any visit by contributor yields hit. Exit and enter repeatedly like 18-month-old male of species homo sapiens making fun sound by applying paternal adjustable wrench on sheet metal of shiny new car.

7:45 a.m. Starbucks. Ask young lady for brief use of her laptop. She is taken aback. Establish authenticity and volatility by shaving one eyebrow and grasping double-shot espresso in shaking hand. She permits. Check blog. Set blog as her new home page. Thank her. Tell her that her cafe americain is gauche to the French, offensive to real Americans, and, in any case, has grown tepid.

8:05 a.m. On interstate. Spend ten minutes attempting to hit blog employing used, ancient (circa 2000) PDA, provided some time ago by client in lieu of paying his bill. Discover that it needs 4 AA batteries to operate. Discard.

8:30 a.m. Office. Over work day, secretly switch home pages for each employee. On PC of woman in Purchasing, place bid on Ebay for collection of clothespin figurines.

6:30 p.m. Home. Spend early evening writing fawning comments to entries. Mistakenly post comments to MegaDeathLives blog. Later, fall asleep during third episode of Hawai’i Five-O marathon.

Book ‘im, Danno.

1 Comments:

Blogger Gone Away said...

Some interesting techniques for increasing traffic flow mentioned... a few of which I have not tried.

2/03/2005 08:41:00 AM  

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